Adventures in Social Security

I figured I would share my conversation today with a representative of the French Social Security Office:

Me: "Bonjour, Madame!"

Sécu Lady (SL): says nothing.

Me: "I am here because in January, my company deposited my file for a social security number.  In February, I received a letter that my birth certificate was not valid because it did not have a stamp on it.  I came to your office in February and your colleague verified my original birth certificate, made a copy, and sent it in with my file.  Just this week, I received another letter telling me that my file could still not be completed because my birth certificate needed to be translated by an official government translator."

SL: says nothing.

Me: "The funny thing is that my birth certificate is already in French, so I am not sure why it needs translating."

SL: "Let me see the letter... Yes, this letter does say that your certificate needs translating."

Me: "But it is already in French."

SL: "That is strange.  Let me call the person who sent the letter... (SL on the phone) "Oh, so that person is not here... Well, I have Mrs. E here in front of me and she has a letter that says that her birth certificate needs to be translated, but it is already in French... (pause) ...Oh, so that is not what she needs at all... (pause) ...But that is what the letter says... (pause) ...Ok then, bye." (hangs up)

SL: "Your certificate does not need to be translated.  The problem is that it does not have an official stamp on it."

Me: "But that is exactly the issue I came in last month for.  The province of Quebec does not put stamps on their official birth certificates.  If you look at the document, you will see that there are 5 security features built right in to the document to certify its authenticity.  The 5 features are literally printed right on the document for people to verify."

SL: "Well, write down everything you just told me on the letter that they sent you.  We can then send the letter in with a photocopy of your birth certificate."

Me: "But the security features don't show up on the photocopy."

SL: "But the letter does not ask for an original.  We only take copies here.  So write down all the security features on the letter."

Me: copy, verbatim, the info from my birth certificate onto the letter, and hand it to SL.

SL: "But this won't work because the security features won't show up on a photocopy."

Me: "I know. That is the problem."

SL: "We don't keep your originals.  We only make copies."

Me: "Well, then, could you include a note stating that you saw the original and that the copy is a valid reproduction?"

SL: "We do not provide that service."

Me: "I do have a second birth certificate that might work - In Quebec, like in France, births are declared via the mayor's office, and I have an extract from the registry of births that I could bring.  It has a stamp on it."

SL: "Yes, you should bring that."

--- So I bike back home and grab the second certificate, and bike back to the social security office, take another number, and get a totally different agent this time. ---

Me: (re-explain the entire situation and hand over my documents)

SL2: "This Quebec birth certificate does not have a stamp on it."

Me: "Yes, that is the problem. I have this second certificate you can compare it to, in order to see that the information is the same."

SL2: "Quebec should really put stamps on its documents."

Me: "Yes, I agree.  Instead they use a much more sophisticated system to prevent fraudulent documents, which ironically means that they are less trusted."

SL2: "I will make a copy of your certificates." (makes copies) "Look, your Quebec certificate does not even photocopy properly. The word "void" appears across the photocopied certificate."

Me: "Yes, that is one of the security features that prevents fraudulent copies.  In fact, the very fact that the certificate cannot be photocopied should prove that it is indeed an authentic original."

SL2: "I don't think that the office will accept this.  We should send your original certificate."

Me: "Will I get it back?"

SL2: "No."

Me: "Then I guess I will order another copy from the province of Quebec and have it sent here.  But that might take another month."

SL2: "That is ok.  It will probably take the office that long to review your file and notify you that we need to see the original."


Seriously.  Am I living in crazy town?

- E