For those of you in North America (who have more than likely not been following French politics) - the second (and deciding) round of the French presidential elections was held today. The run-off pitted incumbent president Nicolas Sarkozy against Socialist party candidate François Hollande. It's been interesting following the politics here, as left and right are not nearly as clear-cut as in the States. This election was fought along many lines, including but not limited to the economy, immigration, and social policies. As we couldn't vote, we were only able to observe as the French citizens cast their ballots that would determine our future here alongside theirs. Of primary interest to us was the impact that the next president would have on our lives in France: right to immigration, right to marriage, right to both legally parent our kids.
And tonight, in our own quiet apartment, with little F's head resting on my shoulder, far from the parties in Paris and around the country, we celebrated. A victory by François Hollande means, for us, the possibility of our marriage being recognized and of my parental rights being upheld. For countless gay and lesbian French couples who did not have the privilege of marrying abroad, this victory may mean the right to marry, to seek reproductive assistance, and to build their own families. Of course, time will tell - but as I sit here with my glass of cider, listening to Hollande give his victory speech, I am filled with a hope similar to what I felt on the night I watched Obama win the presidency. While I feel that in the States we still have a long way to go, I am hopeful that relatively rapid social change can take place here. In a pre-election document addressed to the LGBT wing of the Socialist party, Hollande lays out pretty straightforward answers to some questions that carry enormous weight for my family, and for other GLBT families and individuals:
(Note: these are my translations, and I have shortened the answers for clarity - the original text can be found at
http://ddata.over-blog.com/xxxyyy/0/46/85/86/questions_HES_reponses_FH_2012.pdf)
Will you open civil marriage to all couples? If yes, when? "Yes, in 2012."
Will you open second-parent adoption to same-sex couples? If yes, when? "Yes, in 2012."
Will you open assisted reproduction to all women - by anonymous donor or by known donor - without discrimination? If yes, when? "Yes, starting in 2012."
Will you align legislative and legal texts so that "gender identity" is equivalent to "sexual orientation" when it comes to discrimination or violence? If yes, when? "Yes, in 2012."
Will you end the exclusion of gays from blood donation? If yes, when? "Yes, starting in 2012, because it is a discrimination that has no scientific justification, and rests upon the confusion between 'sexual orientation' and 'sexual behavior'."
No president has been, is, or ever will be a perfect candidate. But tonight, when it comes to my family, Hollande comes pretty damn close. And tonight, pretty damn close is good enough for me.
- E
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Birth Certificate
I told you all I would let L write up the birth story of our new little man (who was born in the apartment!), but since she hasn't gotten to it yet I wanted to at least post a quick note about his birth certificate. Before that, though, here is a little visual of how the animals spent their time while L was in labor:
Anyway, on to the birth certificate. In France, births are declared at the mayor's office (mairie) and must be declared, by law, within 3 business days of the birth. In most cases, the declaration is started by the hospital in which you give birth, and you show up and essentially confirm the details. However, in the case of a homebirth, this means we bring a handwritten note from our midwife to the mayor's office, which is then used to create the official registration of the baby's birth. By law, the midwife has to record the mother's maiden name on the birth certificate (in addition to her married name, if applicable). The rules here state that if a married woman gives birth, the baby's last name will be that of her husband, regardless of whether she has taken his name. If a single woman gives birth (even if in a relationship with the father), the baby's last name will be her maiden name, (or, as it is referred to here, your young girl's name or nom de jeune fille).
Since we are married (again, thanks Canada!) but it is not recognized here, and since L legally changed her last name to mine (but again, that is not recognized here), we were really not sure how this would play out for us. Our midwife had warned me that I would likely not be able to get his birth registered under our shared last name, which would cause major headaches for identity papers and for travelling. Since I was the one going to the mayor's office to register the birth, I arrived already amped up and ready for a fight. To my incredible surprise, the clerk happily recorded our shared last name on his official papers, no questions asked. Again, it seems like the law of the country is not necessarily the law of the cities!
What is even more awesome about this is that when I am in public with our newest son, no one will question our (legal) relationship, even though in France we have no legal relationship. He and I share the same last name; it will therefore be assumed that I am his mother and that I can make decisions for him. In a country where second-parent adoption is illegal, and where I (officially) cannot be his mother, the common name literally makes all the difference.
- E
Anyway, on to the birth certificate. In France, births are declared at the mayor's office (mairie) and must be declared, by law, within 3 business days of the birth. In most cases, the declaration is started by the hospital in which you give birth, and you show up and essentially confirm the details. However, in the case of a homebirth, this means we bring a handwritten note from our midwife to the mayor's office, which is then used to create the official registration of the baby's birth. By law, the midwife has to record the mother's maiden name on the birth certificate (in addition to her married name, if applicable). The rules here state that if a married woman gives birth, the baby's last name will be that of her husband, regardless of whether she has taken his name. If a single woman gives birth (even if in a relationship with the father), the baby's last name will be her maiden name, (or, as it is referred to here, your young girl's name or nom de jeune fille).
Since we are married (again, thanks Canada!) but it is not recognized here, and since L legally changed her last name to mine (but again, that is not recognized here), we were really not sure how this would play out for us. Our midwife had warned me that I would likely not be able to get his birth registered under our shared last name, which would cause major headaches for identity papers and for travelling. Since I was the one going to the mayor's office to register the birth, I arrived already amped up and ready for a fight. To my incredible surprise, the clerk happily recorded our shared last name on his official papers, no questions asked. Again, it seems like the law of the country is not necessarily the law of the cities!
What is even more awesome about this is that when I am in public with our newest son, no one will question our (legal) relationship, even though in France we have no legal relationship. He and I share the same last name; it will therefore be assumed that I am his mother and that I can make decisions for him. In a country where second-parent adoption is illegal, and where I (officially) cannot be his mother, the common name literally makes all the difference.
- E
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
4015
4015. That is how many page views our blog has had since its conception in October of last year. Holy crap! That's a tiny number to many seasoned bloggers, I'm sure, but I was pretty surprised that our ramblings for family and friends have been viewed that many times. I know I've said before how much we both enjoy posting to the blog, even though we don't post nearly often enough, so merci, tout le monde, for staying with us through the periods of drought!
It also occurred to me that while we probably know most of the current blog subscribers in person, there are probably some people who keep up with our posts that we don't actually know, and we should probably do a better job of introducing ourselves and explaining how we even ended up in France.
L is from the Southwestern United States, and I am from the province of Quebec. L is American, and I am Canadian-American thanks to the nationalities of my parents. Since we met 6 years ago at a dinner party, we first dated long distance for about a year, and then reunited in Portland, Oregon, where we spent 5 years surrounded by awesome friends, fresh, local, and eclectic food, and beautiful hiking spots. We are married (thanks, Canada!), registered domestic partners (thanks, Oregon!), and will soon be PACsé (the French equivalent of civil unions), once we assemble the required paperwork. We are looking forward to the day when our marriage is recognized everywhere so we can stop collecting certificates that are only valid within geographical boundaries!
Both of us took the road less traveled to our current occupations, although L is currently on hiatus from work to do the incredibly important and exhausting work of raising our 2 year old son (and soon to be baby #2 - stay tuned in the next few weeks...). Before we met, both of us had traveled, moved far away from our families, and generally been pretty good at building a life in a new place. We had talked about moving to Europe in a 10 or 15 year plan, but had no idea that the opportunity would come as soon as it did. We dove headfirst into this move and I can definitely say that it has been more challenging than either of us expected. Moving to another country is tough; moving away from an incredible support system of friends is tougher.
When we were researching France before our move, it hit us that there was virtually no information available to same-sex couples emigrating to France, and even less about same-sex parents. Second parent (same sex) adoption is illegal here, and it is also illegal to provide fertility services to lesbians (and, I believe, to single women regardless of sexual orientation). In starting this blog, we first hoped to remain connected with our amazing network of family and friends, but second, we also hoped to provide a resource for same-sex couples here and abroad. I can admit that we have not done a stellar job on the second objective so far, mainly because things move pretty slowly and we are still in the process of going through all of the immigration formalities. I can safely predict that in the next month or so, there will be more posts on these topics!
Hope you enjoy what you have read so far. More will certainly follow!
Cheers,
-E
It also occurred to me that while we probably know most of the current blog subscribers in person, there are probably some people who keep up with our posts that we don't actually know, and we should probably do a better job of introducing ourselves and explaining how we even ended up in France.
L is from the Southwestern United States, and I am from the province of Quebec. L is American, and I am Canadian-American thanks to the nationalities of my parents. Since we met 6 years ago at a dinner party, we first dated long distance for about a year, and then reunited in Portland, Oregon, where we spent 5 years surrounded by awesome friends, fresh, local, and eclectic food, and beautiful hiking spots. We are married (thanks, Canada!), registered domestic partners (thanks, Oregon!), and will soon be PACsé (the French equivalent of civil unions), once we assemble the required paperwork. We are looking forward to the day when our marriage is recognized everywhere so we can stop collecting certificates that are only valid within geographical boundaries!
Both of us took the road less traveled to our current occupations, although L is currently on hiatus from work to do the incredibly important and exhausting work of raising our 2 year old son (and soon to be baby #2 - stay tuned in the next few weeks...). Before we met, both of us had traveled, moved far away from our families, and generally been pretty good at building a life in a new place. We had talked about moving to Europe in a 10 or 15 year plan, but had no idea that the opportunity would come as soon as it did. We dove headfirst into this move and I can definitely say that it has been more challenging than either of us expected. Moving to another country is tough; moving away from an incredible support system of friends is tougher.
When we were researching France before our move, it hit us that there was virtually no information available to same-sex couples emigrating to France, and even less about same-sex parents. Second parent (same sex) adoption is illegal here, and it is also illegal to provide fertility services to lesbians (and, I believe, to single women regardless of sexual orientation). In starting this blog, we first hoped to remain connected with our amazing network of family and friends, but second, we also hoped to provide a resource for same-sex couples here and abroad. I can admit that we have not done a stellar job on the second objective so far, mainly because things move pretty slowly and we are still in the process of going through all of the immigration formalities. I can safely predict that in the next month or so, there will be more posts on these topics!
Hope you enjoy what you have read so far. More will certainly follow!
Cheers,
-E
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Same-sex marriage in France?
L found this blog post online yesterday and while it's several months old at this point (from June of this year), I thought it was worth sharing. About a decade ago, one of my professors at Duke predicted that transgender folks would end up being the ones who win us all the right to marry. This story is just one more piece of evidence to support that prediction. Stéphanie Nicot and her partner Elise were legally married by the town's mayor because according to official records, Stéphanie was born as Stéphane. While she had undergone sex reassignment surgery, she was still listed as male in the official government registry.
http://digitaljournal.com/blog/11896
http://www.20minutes.fr/societe/736211-stephanie-elise-dit-oui
Kudos to the happy couple for using the country's laws to their advantage. While France, as of this writing, still does not allow same-sex couples to marry, they do allow a form of civil union called a pacte civil de solidarité, or PACS. As we learn more about the rights and responsibilities I will post a longer update about what a PACS means for our everyday life and beyond.
- E
http://digitaljournal.com/blog/11896
http://www.20minutes.fr/societe/736211-stephanie-elise-dit-oui
Kudos to the happy couple for using the country's laws to their advantage. While France, as of this writing, still does not allow same-sex couples to marry, they do allow a form of civil union called a pacte civil de solidarité, or PACS. As we learn more about the rights and responsibilities I will post a longer update about what a PACS means for our everyday life and beyond.
- E
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