Adventures at the U.S. Embassy

I know, I know, it's been a good two weeks since we have managed to post here.  It's been a bit busy here the past two weeks.  My (E's)  "paternity leave" ended and it was time to head back to work, which also means it was time for L to fly solo at home with the two littles.  Needless to say, it's been an adjustment.  Add to this two solid weeks of rainy weather and it's been a challenge just keeping up with the house (wishful thinking).  And, in all honesty, though I thought many times about posting an update, there just wasn't much to write about.  Days with an infant are at the same time unpredictable and routine, and other than a couple of trips into Paris we've just been laying low.

Our biggest adventure lately was heading to the U.S. Embassy to register B's birth.  Children born to Americans abroad must be registered at the Embassy in order to get a Consular Report of Birth Abroad.  This allows us to apply for his passport (necessary for our upcoming trip to Canada and the U.S.) as well as his social security number.  The process is pretty straightforward: after the birth, you make an appointment with the Embassy (be warned that appointments for the U.S. Embassy in Paris fill up about a month in advance!), fill out the requisite applications, and show up at the Embassy with the French birth certificate as well as proof of the parents' citizenship.  If you are in a hurry to get a passport, it is worth your while to keep checking the appointment website even after making an initial appointment, because canceled appointment slots re-open often.  We were able to shave a week off our initial appointment date by checking regularly - and it's a good thing we did...

We got to the Embassy about 30 minutes before our appointment with our carefully-prepared documents.  L and I had both checked over everything twice to ensure that we had filled everything out properly.  After waiting an hour or so at the Embassy, but before our number was called, I suddenly realized that ohmygodweforgothisbirthcertificate!  Yes, really.  Despite our careful checking and double checking, B's birth certificate was sitting in our apartment, an hour away from the Embassy.  My heart fell into my stomach.  Since our flight to Canada is in less than 4 weeks, and it takes 14 days to get the passport, and about a month to reschedule an appointment, we decided that our only option to play dumb.  We headed to the counter when our number was called, handed over all of our forms, and then reenacted our panicked moment 10 minutes before, when we actually realized his birth certificate was missing.  And score!  The agent helping us was sympathetic, took our application materials, and told us to just mail the certificate in the next day.

Yeah!  We were home free!

... or were we?

About 20 minutes later we got called back to a second window, where L was to be sworn in as the final formality.  Since L is the only parent on the French birth certificate, and is therefore officially a single mother, she also needed to prove physical presence in the U.S. for at least a year prior to B's birth.  Incidentally, married women do not need to provide this documentation - nevermind that we are married!  Fortunately we had come armed with utility bills and tax documents that should provide the necessary documentation.  We figured that was the last hurdle.  The agent helping us, however, asked to swear me in as well.  He then explained to us that he wanted to see if there was any way to put my name on the Consular Report of Birth Abroad as well as on B's passport application.  If we ever move back to the U.S., the CRBA essentially becomes B's defacto birth certificate, so having both of our names on it would be a really, really big deal.  Because we are Registered Domestic Partners in Oregon, had B been born in Oregon we both would be on his birth certificate, so being on the CRBA would essentially be the same thing.  The agent told us that he wanted to seek some guidance from the head office in Washington D.C. on how to proceed with our paperwork, and to see if there was any legal reasoning that would allow my name to appear.  We may need to make another appearance at the Embassy, and it means we are cutting it waaaay too close for comfort to our departure date, but globally this is actually really great news.  I will post updates on this as we get more news from the Embassy, as this could have important ramifications for other same-sex families who have children abroad.

On another note, B is officially one month old today (already!).  To celebrate... I am heading to bed.  Nights are sporadic these days, and this mommy needs all the sleep she can get.

- E

Fun with visas!

After 3 months of false starts and missed deadlines (which is a whole other post), we finally had our visa appointment at the closest consulate (San Francisco) this week.  With some exceptions for small children, anyone applying for a visa to France must apply in person, so L, the little one and I took a (much needed!) 48 hour mini-vacation.  We rode the cable car, visited Fisherman's Wharf, ate our way through North Beach, and enjoyed surprisingly sunny and warm-ish temperatures. Of course, the real reason for our trip was to bring all of our paperwork to the French Consulate.  Given Europe's reputation for being relatively progressive on gay and lesbian issues, we were surprised to find out that France does not recognize same-sex marriage.  They do have a form of civil union (called a PACS) open to French residents, but for immigration purposes, same sex couples are left with few options.  To clarify, I will be in France on a work visa.  For most heterosexual couples and their kids, this means (almost) automatic approval for the spouse and children (as accompanying family members).  For us, on the other hand, my wife and son essentially had to apply on their own (as "Long term visitors").  As you can imagine, the difference in paperwork is substantial:

Married, heterosexual couple with kids - paperwork requested:*
- Passports
- Application forms and processing fees
- Marriage certificate
- Birth certificates for the kids

Married, lesbian couple with kids - what we provided:
- Passports
- Application forms and processing fees
- Marriage certificate (Canada)
- Registered domestic partnership certificate (State of Oregon)
- Birth certificate for the little one (note: because of Oregon's registered domestic partnership rights, both of our names were automatically put on his birth certificate at the time of his birth.  If this hadn't been the case, we would have also needed a notarized letter from the donor giving permission for him to move overseas)
- Notarized letter written by L stating that she promises not to seek employment while in France
- Notarized letter written by me guaranteeing that I will provide financial support for L and the little one(s) while in France
- Copies of bank statements
- Copies of retirement account statements
- Proof of health insurance while abroad
- Proof of a residence while abroad - lease or deed (which, of course, we don't have yet, but we did provide a letter from the housing agency that I will work with upon my arrival)
- Letters from our local police department stating that neither of us have criminal records (while this wasn't listed as a required document for the SF consulate, it was a requirement for other French consulates in the USA)

As crazy as this all sounds, this is just the beginning of the bureaucracy that one must navigate in order to become a legal resident of France.  Once we arrive in France, I'm told, it gets even more fun: pour yourself a nice glass of wine and check out this incredible blog, written by two gay American expats who have also made a home for themselves in Paris. 

What's the most frustrating is that after all of this documentation, L and the little one's visas are still not guaranteed.  As the visa officer put it, all of the proof of our relationship above does not equal a marriage certificate (even though we got married in Canada, it's not recognized by the French government as legitimate).  All of this means that even though we already have our plane tickets (yup, another requirement - your confirmed itinerary must be included at the time of application), we still don't have approved visas in-hand.  We'll be checking the mail religiously for the next two weeks, every day hoping to see the Express Mail envelopes that will contain our passports and, ideally, our visas.

- E


*Common Sense Disclaimer: Immigration is a tricky subject.  This is in no way meant to represent official requirements to obtain a visitor's visa - rather, this reflects our experience with a single consulate.