Things that have happened in the past week:
- We failed to obtain B's mandatory French travel document (Titre d'Identité Républicain or TIR, the document for kids born in France but who are not French citizens) due to a computer glitch between the OFII (immigration office) and the prefecture.
- One of our dogs ate an entire bar of dark chocolate, got theobromine
poisoning, was rescued by the 24-hour mobile veterinarian service in the
Paris region (pumped full of fluids, activated charcoal, and paraffin
oil at 3am, in our living room), 6 hours before our taxi was scheduled to take us to the airport.
- We watched from an airport café as 20 police clad with batons and riot shields stood around doing nothing while hundreds of loud angry men blew air horns, whistles, and vuvuzelas in the airport terminal, disrupting the ability to get through security and probably causing some hearing loss to themselves and us.
- We left on vacation anyway.
North American hiatus lasts until the end of June. A bientôt!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Politics
The presidential election has come and gone, and we are on to legislative elections here in France. This is a big deal, because the president can get a whole lot more accomplished if he also has a majority in the legislative assembly. That being said, campaigning is in full force, the first round of legislative elections is in a couple of weeks, and on nice weekend days at the market it's hard to make it through the entrance without 5 flyers being shoved in your face. A few days ago, at a particularly busy street corner, I decided to stop and have a chat with one of the guys handing out flyers for Nicolas Sarkozy's party, the UMP. Until May, UMP controlled both the legislature and the presidency. Now that the presidency has shifted to the socialist party, the UMP's new campaign strategy is to argue that in order for France to be balanced, there should be a split between the party of the president and the party controlling the assembly. Predictably, when they controlled both the presidency and the assembly, they didn't think that one party holding all the power was such a bad thing.
Me: (smiling) "UMP, right?"
UMP Guy: (also smiling) "Yes!"
Me: "I have a message for you to bring back to your campaign."
(UMP Guy's smile fades a bit)
"I am a lesbian, and this is my son."
(UMP Guy's smile disappears completely and he starts looking around uncomfortably)
"And your party thinks that I should have no legal right to be his parent."
UMP Guy: "No, that's not us, that was the far right --"
Me: "No way. Your party was in power. Your party controlled government."
UMP Guy: "Well, it is not on our agenda."
Me: "Well, until my family is on your agenda, you will never, ever receive a UMP vote from me. Have a nice day."
Nevermind that I have absolutely no right to vote here... but he doesn't need to know that.
- E
Me: (smiling) "UMP, right?"
UMP Guy: (also smiling) "Yes!"
Me: "I have a message for you to bring back to your campaign."
(UMP Guy's smile fades a bit)
"I am a lesbian, and this is my son."
(UMP Guy's smile disappears completely and he starts looking around uncomfortably)
"And your party thinks that I should have no legal right to be his parent."
UMP Guy: "No, that's not us, that was the far right --"
Me: "No way. Your party was in power. Your party controlled government."
UMP Guy: "Well, it is not on our agenda."
Me: "Well, until my family is on your agenda, you will never, ever receive a UMP vote from me. Have a nice day."
Nevermind that I have absolutely no right to vote here... but he doesn't need to know that.
- E
Sunday, May 6, 2012
François Hollande, Président
For those of you in North America (who have more than likely not been following French politics) - the second (and deciding) round of the French presidential elections was held today. The run-off pitted incumbent president Nicolas Sarkozy against Socialist party candidate François Hollande. It's been interesting following the politics here, as left and right are not nearly as clear-cut as in the States. This election was fought along many lines, including but not limited to the economy, immigration, and social policies. As we couldn't vote, we were only able to observe as the French citizens cast their ballots that would determine our future here alongside theirs. Of primary interest to us was the impact that the next president would have on our lives in France: right to immigration, right to marriage, right to both legally parent our kids.
And tonight, in our own quiet apartment, with little F's head resting on my shoulder, far from the parties in Paris and around the country, we celebrated. A victory by François Hollande means, for us, the possibility of our marriage being recognized and of my parental rights being upheld. For countless gay and lesbian French couples who did not have the privilege of marrying abroad, this victory may mean the right to marry, to seek reproductive assistance, and to build their own families. Of course, time will tell - but as I sit here with my glass of cider, listening to Hollande give his victory speech, I am filled with a hope similar to what I felt on the night I watched Obama win the presidency. While I feel that in the States we still have a long way to go, I am hopeful that relatively rapid social change can take place here. In a pre-election document addressed to the LGBT wing of the Socialist party, Hollande lays out pretty straightforward answers to some questions that carry enormous weight for my family, and for other GLBT families and individuals:
(Note: these are my translations, and I have shortened the answers for clarity - the original text can be found at http://ddata.over-blog.com/xxxyyy/0/46/85/86/questions_HES_reponses_FH_2012.pdf)
Will you open civil marriage to all couples? If yes, when? "Yes, in 2012."
Will you open second-parent adoption to same-sex couples? If yes, when? "Yes, in 2012."
Will you open assisted reproduction to all women - by anonymous donor or by known donor - without discrimination? If yes, when? "Yes, starting in 2012."
Will you align legislative and legal texts so that "gender identity" is equivalent to "sexual orientation" when it comes to discrimination or violence? If yes, when? "Yes, in 2012."
Will you end the exclusion of gays from blood donation? If yes, when? "Yes, starting in 2012, because it is a discrimination that has no scientific justification, and rests upon the confusion between 'sexual orientation' and 'sexual behavior'."
No president has been, is, or ever will be a perfect candidate. But tonight, when it comes to my family, Hollande comes pretty damn close. And tonight, pretty damn close is good enough for me.
- E
And tonight, in our own quiet apartment, with little F's head resting on my shoulder, far from the parties in Paris and around the country, we celebrated. A victory by François Hollande means, for us, the possibility of our marriage being recognized and of my parental rights being upheld. For countless gay and lesbian French couples who did not have the privilege of marrying abroad, this victory may mean the right to marry, to seek reproductive assistance, and to build their own families. Of course, time will tell - but as I sit here with my glass of cider, listening to Hollande give his victory speech, I am filled with a hope similar to what I felt on the night I watched Obama win the presidency. While I feel that in the States we still have a long way to go, I am hopeful that relatively rapid social change can take place here. In a pre-election document addressed to the LGBT wing of the Socialist party, Hollande lays out pretty straightforward answers to some questions that carry enormous weight for my family, and for other GLBT families and individuals:
(Note: these are my translations, and I have shortened the answers for clarity - the original text can be found at http://ddata.over-blog.com/xxxyyy/0/46/85/86/questions_HES_reponses_FH_2012.pdf)
Will you open civil marriage to all couples? If yes, when? "Yes, in 2012."
Will you open second-parent adoption to same-sex couples? If yes, when? "Yes, in 2012."
Will you open assisted reproduction to all women - by anonymous donor or by known donor - without discrimination? If yes, when? "Yes, starting in 2012."
Will you align legislative and legal texts so that "gender identity" is equivalent to "sexual orientation" when it comes to discrimination or violence? If yes, when? "Yes, in 2012."
Will you end the exclusion of gays from blood donation? If yes, when? "Yes, starting in 2012, because it is a discrimination that has no scientific justification, and rests upon the confusion between 'sexual orientation' and 'sexual behavior'."
No president has been, is, or ever will be a perfect candidate. But tonight, when it comes to my family, Hollande comes pretty damn close. And tonight, pretty damn close is good enough for me.
- E
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Adventures at the U.S. Embassy
I know, I know, it's been a good two weeks since we have managed to post here. It's been a bit busy here the past two weeks. My (E's) "paternity leave" ended and it was time to head back to work, which also means it was time for L to fly solo at home with the two littles. Needless to say, it's been an adjustment. Add to this two solid weeks of rainy weather and it's been a challenge just keeping up with the house (wishful thinking). And, in all honesty, though I thought many times about posting an update, there just wasn't much to write about. Days with an infant are at the same time unpredictable and routine, and other than a couple of trips into Paris we've just been laying low.
Our biggest adventure lately was heading to the U.S. Embassy to register B's birth. Children born to Americans abroad must be registered at the Embassy in order to get a Consular Report of Birth Abroad. This allows us to apply for his passport (necessary for our upcoming trip to Canada and the U.S.) as well as his social security number. The process is pretty straightforward: after the birth, you make an appointment with the Embassy (be warned that appointments for the U.S. Embassy in Paris fill up about a month in advance!), fill out the requisite applications, and show up at the Embassy with the French birth certificate as well as proof of the parents' citizenship. If you are in a hurry to get a passport, it is worth your while to keep checking the appointment website even after making an initial appointment, because canceled appointment slots re-open often. We were able to shave a week off our initial appointment date by checking regularly - and it's a good thing we did...
We got to the Embassy about 30 minutes before our appointment with our carefully-prepared documents. L and I had both checked over everything twice to ensure that we had filled everything out properly. After waiting an hour or so at the Embassy, but before our number was called, I suddenly realized that ohmygodweforgothisbirthcertificate! Yes, really. Despite our careful checking and double checking, B's birth certificate was sitting in our apartment, an hour away from the Embassy. My heart fell into my stomach. Since our flight to Canada is in less than 4 weeks, and it takes 14 days to get the passport, and about a month to reschedule an appointment, we decided that our only option to play dumb. We headed to the counter when our number was called, handed over all of our forms, and then reenacted our panicked moment 10 minutes before, when we actually realized his birth certificate was missing. And score! The agent helping us was sympathetic, took our application materials, and told us to just mail the certificate in the next day.
Yeah! We were home free!
... or were we?
About 20 minutes later we got called back to a second window, where L was to be sworn in as the final formality. Since L is the only parent on the French birth certificate, and is therefore officially a single mother, she also needed to prove physical presence in the U.S. for at least a year prior to B's birth. Incidentally, married women do not need to provide this documentation - nevermind that we are married! Fortunately we had come armed with utility bills and tax documents that should provide the necessary documentation. We figured that was the last hurdle. The agent helping us, however, asked to swear me in as well. He then explained to us that he wanted to see if there was any way to put my name on the Consular Report of Birth Abroad as well as on B's passport application. If we ever move back to the U.S., the CRBA essentially becomes B's defacto birth certificate, so having both of our names on it would be a really, really big deal. Because we are Registered Domestic Partners in Oregon, had B been born in Oregon we both would be on his birth certificate, so being on the CRBA would essentially be the same thing. The agent told us that he wanted to seek some guidance from the head office in Washington D.C. on how to proceed with our paperwork, and to see if there was any legal reasoning that would allow my name to appear. We may need to make another appearance at the Embassy, and it means we are cutting it waaaay too close for comfort to our departure date, but globally this is actually really great news. I will post updates on this as we get more news from the Embassy, as this could have important ramifications for other same-sex families who have children abroad.
On another note, B is officially one month old today (already!). To celebrate... I am heading to bed. Nights are sporadic these days, and this mommy needs all the sleep she can get.
- E
Our biggest adventure lately was heading to the U.S. Embassy to register B's birth. Children born to Americans abroad must be registered at the Embassy in order to get a Consular Report of Birth Abroad. This allows us to apply for his passport (necessary for our upcoming trip to Canada and the U.S.) as well as his social security number. The process is pretty straightforward: after the birth, you make an appointment with the Embassy (be warned that appointments for the U.S. Embassy in Paris fill up about a month in advance!), fill out the requisite applications, and show up at the Embassy with the French birth certificate as well as proof of the parents' citizenship. If you are in a hurry to get a passport, it is worth your while to keep checking the appointment website even after making an initial appointment, because canceled appointment slots re-open often. We were able to shave a week off our initial appointment date by checking regularly - and it's a good thing we did...
We got to the Embassy about 30 minutes before our appointment with our carefully-prepared documents. L and I had both checked over everything twice to ensure that we had filled everything out properly. After waiting an hour or so at the Embassy, but before our number was called, I suddenly realized that ohmygodweforgothisbirthcertificate! Yes, really. Despite our careful checking and double checking, B's birth certificate was sitting in our apartment, an hour away from the Embassy. My heart fell into my stomach. Since our flight to Canada is in less than 4 weeks, and it takes 14 days to get the passport, and about a month to reschedule an appointment, we decided that our only option to play dumb. We headed to the counter when our number was called, handed over all of our forms, and then reenacted our panicked moment 10 minutes before, when we actually realized his birth certificate was missing. And score! The agent helping us was sympathetic, took our application materials, and told us to just mail the certificate in the next day.
Yeah! We were home free!
... or were we?
About 20 minutes later we got called back to a second window, where L was to be sworn in as the final formality. Since L is the only parent on the French birth certificate, and is therefore officially a single mother, she also needed to prove physical presence in the U.S. for at least a year prior to B's birth. Incidentally, married women do not need to provide this documentation - nevermind that we are married! Fortunately we had come armed with utility bills and tax documents that should provide the necessary documentation. We figured that was the last hurdle. The agent helping us, however, asked to swear me in as well. He then explained to us that he wanted to see if there was any way to put my name on the Consular Report of Birth Abroad as well as on B's passport application. If we ever move back to the U.S., the CRBA essentially becomes B's defacto birth certificate, so having both of our names on it would be a really, really big deal. Because we are Registered Domestic Partners in Oregon, had B been born in Oregon we both would be on his birth certificate, so being on the CRBA would essentially be the same thing. The agent told us that he wanted to seek some guidance from the head office in Washington D.C. on how to proceed with our paperwork, and to see if there was any legal reasoning that would allow my name to appear. We may need to make another appearance at the Embassy, and it means we are cutting it waaaay too close for comfort to our departure date, but globally this is actually really great news. I will post updates on this as we get more news from the Embassy, as this could have important ramifications for other same-sex families who have children abroad.
On another note, B is officially one month old today (already!). To celebrate... I am heading to bed. Nights are sporadic these days, and this mommy needs all the sleep she can get.
- E
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