2012... and still not online

Happy 2012 to you, readers, family and friends!  As of this writing, we are still not hooked up to the internet at home; however, according to our internet service provider, our account is currently on step 3 of 5 (step 5 is when our modem is actually shipped).  As of two days ago we were still stuck on step 1, so I view this (with cautious optimism) as an improvement!  Here’s hoping that within the next week will will be able to communicate with friends and family, as we were not able to do so over the holidays.

We have lots of stories to update, including a road trip to Mont St Michel as well as finding a midwife!  I will save these stories for L to tell over the next week.  In the meantime here is a quick update on our path towards integration in French society:

• We will apparently have an appointment in the next few weeks to meet with the Office Français de l’Immigration et de l’Intégration.  This moves us one step closer to receiving our Cartes de Séjour, which is basically a permit giving us the right to live in France legally.  Until then, we are legally here on our visas, but we can’t leave the country until we have the Cartes de Séjour.  Well, technically, I suppose we could leave – but we wouldn’t be able to get back in!
•  Our legal status as a couple in France is questionable, and appears to be dependent on the situation.  Officially, France has no same-sex marriage.  There is an option to enter into a PACS (similar to a domestic partnership or civil union), but the required documents for foreigners to do this are numerous, complex and require official translation into French.  Despite the fact that our marriage is not recognized and we are not PACSé, it appears that for many purposes, we are considered to be a family unit.  Like a lot of situations here, there’s the law, and then there’s the interpretation.  There is a third category of relationship here called la vie commune (common life), which apparently gives L and the little one the right to be covered for medical expenses by my social security. I say “apparently” because even my HR department at work is not sure about this; however, our mayor’s office happily drew up a document for us attesting to our vie maritale (marital life) for us to submit to the social security administration.  I am told that even in the best circumstances, getting a social security number takes months, so I imagine it will be a long time before I post any updates on this.
•  We are trying to find French lessons for L and part-time daycare for the little one so that he has the chance to play with some toddlers his own age as well as to speed up his acquisition of the language.  French lessons have actually been difficult to find, as the city provides them only for individuals looking for work.  For daycare, we submit an official file to the mayor’s office, who will contact us once a spot becomes available in one of the city crèches (here, demand far exceeds supply).  This is another situation where our family situation appears to be open to interpretation – in France, a child cannot have two legal moms (or dads), period.  There is no second-parent adoption – it is illegal. However, both of our names are on the little one’s birth certificate (thanks, Oregon!) which makes it difficult for local authorities to dispute both of our claims of being his legal parents.  Thus, our mayor’s office instructed us to cross out “father” on all of the required forms, and edit as we wish to reflect our status as parents.  Childcare here is subsidized by each city government, and residents contribute based on an income-dependent sliding scale. From what we can gather, the assessment of family contribution will be made in the context of us being a 3-person family unit – so on the local level at least, we seem to be considered a family.  My guess is that this depends entirely on the local politics and social leanings of the person you happen to get at the mayor’s office – we were fortunate to work with someone who was super progressive.  Here’s hoping that our subsequent interactions with city government are equally positive.

L took some super photos on Christmas eve in Paris (including the promised photo of the mini Karl Lagerfelds in the Chanel window display), and as soon as we are hooked up at home she will most definitely post some.  It has been incredibly isolating to be out of touch with family and friends for so long, and we are both SO impatient to be connected again! In the meantime, you are not forgotten – we will be in touch as soon as we can.

- E